On "This American Life," Pragmatism, and Faith

I’ve been a fan of “This American Life” on National Public Radio for years.  The folks behind the show were pioneers in capturing stories that both tell the story of people trying to interpret the events of their lives in a meaningful way as well as help the larger audience do the same by sharing these stories in a thought provoking way.  It’s a brilliant exercise in vicarious learning; the stories can easily become catalysts for paradigmatic shifts as these collected stories resonate with something inside of us, the audience.

Recently “This American Life” ran a show entitled That’s One Way to Do It.  The description of the episode was:

“Forget the easy way. This week, stories about people who come up with very innovative…and unusual...solutions to their problems. Including the story of a young voter who defies political categorization.”

It was this story, in the show’s first act, which grabbed my attention.  You can find the episode here.

Let me briefly summarize the set up.  Alex Chalgren (who you can follow on twitter @AChalgren) is eighteen years old.  He is black.  He is gay.  He is a supporter of Donald Trump. 

Now that you’ve read that a couple of times to make sure you read it correctly, let me continue.  Alex was adopted by his mother, who happened to be his third grade teacher, after Alex was put in her class at some point during the school year.  She was enamored by him and he by her.  Apparently they are quite close.  It’s one of those heart-warming adoption stories.  After Alex was adopted his mother married his father whom they met at church. 

Alex and his parents are conservative evangelical Christians.  They live in South Carolina.  His parents are huge supporters of Ted Cruz.  Alex supports Donald Trump because Trump is a Republican, which appeals to Alex’s inherited political values.  Alex also supports Trump because Trump supports marriage equality, which appeals to the realty of Alex’s life.  It was this juxtaposition/compromise which grabbed my attention in the telling of Alex’s story.  It was clear to me that Alex is trying to be faithful to values that, in our United States political landscape, are so diametrical and polarizing. 

But then Alex’s story, like all good stories, took a turn and my curiosity about Alex’s compromise turned into anger over the next part of this narrative. 

When Alex was in 8^th grade his parents figured out he was gay.  The producer who is interviewing Alex and his parents for this piece doesn’t go into detail about his parents’ reactions but the few comments Alex and his parents offer are enough to give the listener the general idea.  In short, Alex’s parents, who evidently found out about Alex’s identity by reading Alex’s journal, didn’t take the news very well.  Alex, in the piece, summarizes their response by highlighting his parents taking him to the elders of their church where he was lectured at regarding “God’s plan.”  He also said that his parents put him into therapy.  The producer clarified what the therapy was for and, yes, it was to “fix” Alex’s sexuality.

So, yes.  It made me angry.  It made me very angry.  It blows me away that it’s 2016 and young people are still subjected to, what I see as, superstitious religious thinking and unethical therapeutic practices.  I am Christian and, as you can imagine given my life situation, I have spent considerable time researching the damage the Church has done to people in the name of their understanding of “God’s plan.” 

One of the first “real novels” I ever read was “The Mists of Avalon” by Marion Zimmer Bradley.  It’s the story of King Arthur told from the eyes of the traditional antagonist, Morgaine (or Morgan le Fey).  In this version of the story Morgaine isn’t trying to undermine King Arthur or take over Camelot.  She is fighting to find her place in a rapidly changing world in which she feels she has no control.  She ultimately finds that place in fighting for her people, the followers of the native religions and traditions that stand at the brink of extinction as Christianity takes hold of Britain. 

There is a line toward the end of the book as Morgaine, in her older age, begins to understand the themes of her life.  She shares this observation with the reader:  “From these Christians who came to [Avalon] to escape the bigotry of their own kind I learned something, at last, of the Nazarene, the carpenter's son who had attained Godhead in his own life and preached a rule of tolerance; and so I came to see that my quarrel was never with the Christ, but with his foolish and narrow priests who mistook their own narrowness for his.”

I’ve always used this quote as a guiding principle when it comes to studying God and the Bible.  People have a way to bend holy texts to their views, both intentionally and unintentionally.  It’s so easy to misinterpret these things, to misunderstand them, especially when there are hundreds of years of the misinterpretations and misunderstandings built into the institution.  And of course it’s these faulty understandings that influence so-called professionals who step away from the actual science behind psychology and psychiatry and stand in opposition to the American Psychiatric Association (APA) who removed homosexuality as a disorder from the Diagnostic and Stastical Manual (DSM) in 1973 because science and research could not support the understanding of homosexuality as harmful to an individual’s life.

So I have these things in my mind when I hear 18 year old Alex Chalgren explain how his parents reacted to his identity when he was 14 years old.  And, as I said, it made me very angry. 

But then Alex said something that changed my mood yet again.  Here’s an excerpt from the episode’s transcript, a conversation between Alex and the producer, Zoe Chace. 

Zoe Chace

When Alex's parents found out he was gay, it was as dramatic as things can get in those sort of situations. Alex says they suspected it and read his journal, where he had written about boys. This was in eighth grade. He had to leave school immediately and his parents started homeschooling him. And they brought in their church.

Alex Chalgren

And they wanted to nip this in the bud. Snap, cut it, make sure I was straight. And I was like a-- yeah. So the clergy came down, sat with me, the elders and people. And they read from scripture and everything.

And I was just sitting there quietly. At first I saw it as like, oh, my goodness. This is a sin. I can't believe this. I'm going to go hell. Oh, my god, I'm going to burn in hell for all eternity.

And so they're reading from scripture. And they're saying, this is what the scripture says, man shall not lie with another man, whatever. And the more that happened, the harder I became. I was less soft. And then my mom got a therapist for me, another one, a different one, for me being gay.

Zoe Chace

Was this one of those therapists who is like, I'm going to help you be not gay?

Alex Chalgren

Yeah. He was a preacher [LAUGHS] with the Presbyterian therapists' organization. He didn't do anything. I just told him I'm gay. I said this is what's going to happen. I'm gay. But you can talk about how I can have a better relationship with my parents.

This emphasis in that last line is mine.

This is a powerful example of self-advocacy that defines this generation.  In short, and at the risk of putting words in Alex’s mouth that he may not have intended, Alex is saying:  This is who I am and that’s not a problem; the problem is my relationship with my parents and people who have a problem with who I am. 

Zoe Chace, who produced the piece for “This American Life,” teases out her theories and discusses Alex’s parents’ theories as to why Alex makes the choices he makes when it comes to politics and maybe even his identity.  I have my own theory. 

There’s a piece connected to Alex’s story that I recognize with regard to his adoption and integrating the part of his story where he felt powerless into his present situation and his personality.  So often times children who are adopted when they’re older struggle with power and powerlessness.  There are things there that I could explore and speculate about but I think the thing about Alex’s story that I finally left the thirty-one minute piece with is this:  Alex Chalgren, like so many other people in his “generation,” is a problem solver and to best solve problems it’s not necessarily about attending to black and white lines and hard and fast rules; it’s about pragmatism. 

For a lot of history, in part because of the Church’s influence, pragmatism has been discouraged.  In this historic view, to be pragmatic would be to find whatever solution worked the best/easiest in any given situation regardless of traditional thinking and values.  Of course that’s how “toe the line people” interpreted the mentality of people they didn’t agree with.  I think pragmatism isn’t about “whatever works is good” but rather “we need practical solutions to disruptive problems.”  I think pragmatism in this context hits a problem head on with a solution rather than minimizing the problem or kicking it down the road with a solution that doesn’t fully meet the needs the problem creates. 

This is where Alex’s story intersects with mine.  When I was Alex’s age it was just easier to minimize the problem (the problem, of course, being identity).  This didn’t address the problem and only served to complicate the problem over time.  Alex, being fortunate enough to live in a time in which pragmatism is valued and who had the courage of his convictions as they seem to be demonstrated in the “This American Life” story, hit the problem(s) head on with real solutions, i.e. “I’m gay and that’s not changing.  What can change is my relationship with my parents and you can help me do that.”

I think what is so awesome about Alex’s story as shared on “This American Life” is that it’s captured in time in a way that many of us aren’t fortunate enough to experience.  I don’t know about your but NPR isn’t knocking on my door for me to share my story, thus memorializing it for posterity.  But Alex has had this experience as part of his story.  It would be interesting to check in with Alex in the years to come to see how he continues to solve the problem of seemingly conflicting values and disharmony in his family over something that cannot be changed. 

I do want to thank Alex for having the courage to share his story. 

Post Script

As I began proofreading and editing this entry I realized that this post definitely makes me sound like I’ve joined the ranks of crotchety old men yelling at kids to get off their lawns.  I’m seriously not that old.  I wonder if anyone could actually guess my age.  Could be interesting.  Or scary.  Or both.